Why God is "Angry" in the Old Testament

You don’t have to agree with me at all. I only ask that you seriously consider what I’m saying here. I didn’t start to think of this until I was reading through Exodus v-e-r-y s-l-o-w-l-y.

This is about the Moses/Yahweh relationship. And I am presenting it to you basically how it came to me.

There’s a part in the “Nightmare Before Christmas” where, after trying to explain the wonder and magic of Christmas to his people, Jack Skellington gives up and gives them what they want. Essentially the same thing happened to Moses. When he tried to introduce Yahweh to the Israelites they did not want to know “him” so “he” became a personification of karma to them.

In light of my own experiences with God, and the Jesus thing, I wonder if the anger and vengeance assigned to God in the text really was “him”. I’m tempted to read that the angry vengeful harsh voice was actually Moses and that the voice of reason was God in Moses.

We only know what got reported. Could it be that the way Yahweh interacted with Moses went more like this:

God: I will tell you all these horrible things you are thinking in your stress and anger. (Wipe out the nation, etc...) 

Moses: Oh, God! Don’t do that!

God: Exactly, you “convinced” me, not because I needed you to convince me but because by “convincing” me you now understand why I won’t do all of this.

When this was presented to the people they did not understand it as Moses did because they had refused to personally know Yahweh. What they got out of it was, “Yahweh is angry and scary and Moses is protecting us from HIM.” Interestingly this was “good politics” Moses had become the gatekeeper to Yahweh. This flawed vision of God was out of Moses’ control, it would take too much energy to correct. In fact, if he did try to correct it he could have died.

So it is not that there are two Gods, one old and cranky, and one loving, or that God (Yahweh) changed it’s that human understanding began to see in a new light. What had been merged in the desert could now be separated. Yahweh became distinct from karma most strongly through the teaching of the Christ. The dawning of this new light was always present in the story it just needed a teacher who could be the light because we could not accept an abstract. We could not understand a God without skin.

In correcting our flawed vision Jesus the Christ died. Moses couldn’t do it. Moses knew he was flawed.

After Moses the only people who had a direct dialogue with Yahweh were the prophets. Not even Joshua spoke directly with “him,” he had to go through the urim and thummim thing (Num27:21). And the kings went through priests and prophets.

The prophets were receiving messages that the people didn’t want to hear. Force was the only way they knew to motivate change and so they come out sounding extreme. In a lot of ways what the prophets heard was not fully understood, not even by the prophet himself. They had been raised to believe that Yahweh was karma. Whatever learned in childhood usually remains deep and unconscious unless brought to light and the light had not come yet.

And that is why the Old Testament is the way it is.
You're welcome.

Fool's Report 2014

Oh, a new year!

This year end seemed to come quickly. The older I get the sooner I seem to be writing this report.

I reviewed last year’s report and can say that while I did not get the rest I longed for then I am much calmer. This I feel is a step in the right direction.

Fool’s Report 2014

Dear Family and Friends,
Every year on January 6 I issue the following report. I do this on the 6th because it is Twelfth Night, which has a special place in my heart. Traditionally, the Feast of Fools would be held today and the gifts of the Magi would be exchanged. These are ideas that I like and I prefer them over traditional Christmas. It also gives me a great excuses to not write Christmas letters in the middle of crazy-ah!-time, which is what Christmas has become.

2013 was an interesting year, like how you'd describe a dog's choice in snack material. I left Mixtape in February and was thoroughly unemployed for most of the remaining year. I decided to look in to doing holistic healthcare, which I discovered is basically massage therapy around here, figured out that that wasn't something I could really make a living at and dropped out. My thoughts then turned to practical matters. What can I do that will sustain my desired lifestyle?

With this thought firmly in mind I plan to lay low for a time doing what is free and accessible to me until I can see the way a little clearer.

I am thankful that I got to help build a lot of sets at Flood this year and for all the time I spent at their office doing data entry. It got me out of the house and kept me productive two things I need to stay sane.

Something that I don't remember writing about last year is kung-fu. I am about halfway to my black sash in Choy Li Fut. This is the point where training gets serious and so does your arsenal. (Read: cash out.) I love it. So, you see settling my cash flow anxiety is spreading out into multiple areas of my thought life.

It looks like the theme for 2014 is: day job.

I open the Fiddler on the Roof remount for Lamb's Players on January 11. It's a short run (kind of the opposite of Mixtape). It should just get me out if debt, which is great.

I have also had quite a few deep thoughts over this last year. I think, if I have the mental space, I might look over what I've been writing lately and put together a little book. Sadly, I haven't got much in the way of marketing experience. So I doubt I'll bother publishing. If you are curious about my writing let me know and I'll add you to the list of people who might care.

I do have a few blogs you might like to follow. I don't update them on a strict schedule but they are out there. Here are the links for the more active ones.

http://starlingsage.com/
http://starlproject.blogspot.com/

If I struggled a lot in 2012 I think I struggled more in ’13 (I didn’t even get into the health weirdness).

Warm fuzzies at you this year. Don't be afraid to check on me. Peace.

The Klutzy Song

I finished a song today and being "praise day" or "singing religious songs day" I thought I'd unleash the words to the world.

The Klutzy Song

raised by a people who believed they were strong
taught that security meant I belonged
the price of admission was always too high
the demand that I make something of my life

outwardly failed in so many ways
inwardly struggling to see better days
the people around me can't see past their pain
cry out like drowning to be saved again

why is it they think I'm responsible
that I know what's up and can settled their scores
I'm only human exactly like them
just a jacked up tool in a perfect plan

You, you want me
Lord, you want me
klutzy and needy though I am
you want me

in this quiet place I stand though I know
storms are ahead and there's one way to go
struggles all ahead pain's in the past
I'm not giving up til we meet at last

You, you want me
Lord, you want me
klutzy and needy though I am
you want me.

It’s Messy

Over and over again the message that I have no control over other people’s decisions bats me on the nose. What was perfectionism in me wanted to become the director of my life. I pushed it away. I had to I was working in theater where deadlines trump perfection. But the relentless deadlines did something to me, though they dismantled perfection they also drove me to blindly hurtle through a series of crises without allowing for recovery. This driving was a form of breaking. I no longer had control. My boundaries were violated routinely. So, I said, no more.

Maybe I’m retreading old ground. In my experience every time a path is re-walked it becomes a different one by virtue of the experience gained from the first time. If I can go through this mindfully, without focusing so much on myself, perhaps this struggle will end. What I mean is this life long struggle to know my calling.

I know I’m called.

But I don’t know where.

I harbored envy toward those who seemed to know better what they were doing. Those who seemed to be prospering without the amount of struggle I experience. This envy has been with me for a very long time. I see that now. Its anger has kept me from enjoying people. Intellectually I see this but my emotions are lagging. So I struggle to be around my “successful” friends. I want to be a good friend. My wound gets in the way.

At this point confession is the only remedy.

So yes, I have been a jerk because I wished that my life were easier the way I think yours is. I have been a jerk because I wanted control over things that I have no business controlling. I’ve also been a jerk for hiding my thoughts and feelings, which lead me to mutter things under my breath and maybe say inappropriate things to people you don’t even know.

I didn’t want all of this to come out in the heat of some emotional upheaval. So to exercise the little control I do have I write this. By posting it publicly I know strangers will read this, and they should. Some of my deepest hostilities have been directed toward strangers, innocent people who have no idea why I’m so angry.

I will continue to struggle with this. In the struggle love and empathy are born.

It’s messy.

Save Humanity

The reason people are having issues with wheat now has to do more with environment than heredity. As time goes on however our bodies will change to suit the environment and this tendency then will be hereditary. This may already be happening.  After all it’s the adaptable not the strong who survive.

What changed to make more people wheat intolerant? Oh, I don’t know, could it be GMOs? I mean genetically modified stuff doesn’t look like classic wheat on a molecular level. It also has all the markers of a messed with substance. Like unusual proteins. So some bodies look at that and go ATTACK! 

I wish science would slow down and consider the big picture. That could save humanity.

Intentions Furrow the Brow

Wallowing on beds so greedy
she was lack of mother greedy
children raised the needy greedy

Fine she called now swine she called us
orange we feel now red she’d take us
down the river now who would save us

How intentions furrow the brow now
and attentions are withheld now
to establish greatest need now

Pregnant with wind
give birth to dust
with us
suffer

now

Sloth/Workaholic

As I thought about a creative way to explain how sloth affects our soul a sheet came to mind. Sloth binds awareness making movement difficult. What I mean is that its attitude is, don’t bother me with whatever you have going on I’m comfy here. The full picture is like this:

You are asleep someone wants to wake you up. They call to you. You roll over. They call again. You roll over. They yell they bang pots they set off fire crackers. You continue to roll over. What you didn’t realize was that your sheet, that nice sheet, has now got you tangled up. When you finally do wake up and see, oh I don’t know, the equivalent of a gun in your face. It will be pretty much impossible to move because you are mummy wrapped in this habit of rolling over. That is sloth.

Why are you rolling over? There are many reasons to do this. 

The opposite of sloth is what? Workaholims? I’d argue that workaholics are sloths in another disguise. The distraction of trying to accomplish, keep moving, is rolling over. If you can’t stop and deal with yourself or what's really going on that’s the same thing as never trying in the first place. You also end up dead.

Both ideas, classic sloth and workaholism, leave you kind of hungry. Because really who has time to eat if you’re busy or really asleep?

I’m talking soul level stuff.

“Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled.” Mat.5:6