Calling it Like I See it

There once was a man who told us he loved his wife but we never saw them together. He often complained that no one cared about her. He thought she was very ill. But he never made it easy for her to leave the house. I wondered in my soul how ill she really was.

Once I took her to a doctor’s appointment and listened to her for two hours. No one had done that for her in a long time, I could tell by what she said. I was young then and didn’t process it very quickly but did do what I could to open their eyes.

Recently a mutual acquaintance told me that the main, given, reason the man left the church he had been with was so he could attend a church with his wife. If that were true then by all means go. But for his next church he chose a fellowship that was not convenient for his wife.

In my world this does not look good.

As it happens, I know his new church is not a good fit for her because I’ve been there for a while now and it’s far too loud and nowhere near her home. I see this man at service and I hide from him because I’m angry.

Neglect and isolation are just as devastating, if not more so, than actually getting beat up. I wonder if he feels power or importance when he gets to give people updates on his tragic wife. Perhaps that is why he keeps her tragic. It does her no good. It proves he is a dick.

She is as helpless as he makes her and that is unjust.

I post this in hopes that it will generate constructive discussion. I know my view on the situation is flawed. But I can’t be silent.

Going Veg

A friend asked me about going vegetarian recently. He’s a CARNIVORE! And has some anxiety about living meat free. It’s not a hopeless situation. With a little education and encouragement he can change to a very good protein rich plant based diet.

How to start:

• Know what your body needs. Nutritionists like to worry about a vegetarian’s protein and B12 intake. Do pay attention to these things. The protein is really important because they are what make muscles. In the beginning you will need to keep a food journal and look up the nutrition information on what you’re eating.
• Read labels: it will be surprising what does contain protein. It will also be surprising what contains meat or meat derivatives (Twinkies? Yeah, read the label).
• Eat a variety of things. Don’t just eat beans, eat beans and rice and squash and…
• Don’t relight on soy. I know it so convenient because marketing has made it look like a one to one parallel with meat but there are things about soy you should consider before going all monoculture on it. Soy has phytoestrogens that can destabilize your hormone balance making you a little weirder than you already are. So I’d advise going easy on it.
• The most important part is to keep an open mind about food. Most people have deep emotional attachments to a food tradition which makes eating well challenging. For instance in America there’s a cultural message that says; everyone likes chocolate cake. This is not true. I happen to be cake ambivalent and I still consider myself a good American.*

In time your tastes will refine and you will find delight in new flavors. The plant world is very flavorful.

*good American: someone who votes, damn it!

Dragon's Return

A facebook friend posted this video please watch it and read my response below. 

I’m balling. It’s early in the morning, well early by my standards, and I’m crying because I realize that I miss my friendly dragons. I don’t know how to explain this. When I was younger and the world was taking magic away from me the dragons were the last thing to go. They were good friends for me.

Now I’m “mature” now I worry. My sense that I have powerful friends that will always help and protect me has been dimmed. I no longer expect loyalty. This is hard.

In my dream, the strong wish I have for myself, I want a playful loyal friend who will enjoy the absurd along with me. One who will never hurt me with false friendship, one who will value me above the opinions of other people. Because the dragons began to die the day I was betrayed.

I don’t know why my mother decided to give me back my graphite stick today… I guess I should start drawing again. It’s been far too long.

Health

Ok, there are people who are curious about my "diet". Here’s how I account for my appearance.

•   Genetics
•   Food heritage
•   Routine

Genetics is something you can’t share with me, sorry, so I won’t say much about it. Except that it is important to know how this affects your body.

Food heritage is the habits our caregivers modeled for us. In my case my mother was a very strong influence in what was around to eat. Fortunately my father was willing to go along with her earthy health conscious vision; as a consequence I have no fear of vegetables and actually prefer a plant based diet. Food was never used to fill emotional holes. It was strictly about fueling up to get through the day. Sugar was deemphasized.

Routine is the practical part that you can steal from me:

•  I drink a lot of water. In fact the first thing I ingest every day is water. Here’s why, I’ve gone eight-ish hours without drinking anything. If our bodies are 75% water and would fail faster without it, it just makes sense to take care of that issue first.
•  Breakfast is routine, I eat the same basic thing every morning. The last thing I want to do before breakfast is figure out some complicated thing.
•   My go to breakfast is oatmeal, yogurt, and nuts. I do add things like spices or dried fruit; often I will include a little honey. This is a high protein meal that also takes care of a calcium serving. Protein is important because it’s what your muscles are made of and provides a steady long term source of energy.
•  Physical activity, the adult way of saying play. Runaround or dance or climb things our bodies are meant to move. Think about it, for the longest time humans traveled by foot everywhere. Until quite recently most people worked at something involving physicality. There were no gyms because they were unnecessary.
•  Ok on this point I’m a little crazy. I don’t keep a lot of furniture. If there’s nowhere to sit then I’ll use the floor which means I’m less likely to sit for long periods of time.
• Another thing that goes along with playing is playing outside. Yeah, get out of the house or building at least once a day. Walking to and from a car does not count.
•  I don’t eat my food all at once. Meaning I take my time at meals and I have lots of meals evenly spaced through the day about every 3 hours. If you only eat one meal a day your body stresses out. You can survive on one meal a day but you aren’t likely to thrive on one meal a day.
•  Learn how your body handles stress. In my case stressfulness attacks my digestive system. For you, you may find that it gives you clausal headaches. However this happens learn how to manage stress so that you aren’t making the situation worse. If you need help figuring this out ask for it don’t waste time googleing it on your own.
• Have social interaction on a regular basis. Being around good people regularly will help enormously. I’ve never struggled with body image issues but I have struggled with identity my entire life. I find that having supportive people in my life not only encourages me to get out of the house but also lessens the burdens of life by getting me to focus on something other than myself.

The other great thing about having good people in your life is that they will help motivate you into health. Someone to play with is much better than playing alone. (Take that however you will, *wink*.)

A special note to the ladies:

Be kind to each other. If you’re wacked out on hormones, or whatever, don’t use that as an excuse to be bitchy. In fact take it as a challenge to be extra sensitive to those around you. Exercising self-control in this area will win you friends. Not only will they find you pleasant it will show your strength of character. People do prefer those who can control their tempers.

For Sunday May 6

Philippians 1:18

New International Version (NIV)

^“18 But what does it matter? The important thing is that in every way, whether from false motives or true, Christ is preached. And because of this I rejoice.

Yes, and I will continue to rejoice,”

Don’t fault the imperfect messenger, as long as the message is spread.

I have had a tendency to want my version of the story to prevail. I wonder if Paul wrote this to people who share my own fault; the fault of wanting to control a message that should not be tamed. If ever the gospel were tamed it would lose its power because in the struggle to submit comes our maturing. In accepting its difficulties we remain humble and open to love.

Though some may begin their career in arrogance, humility, of necessity, will follow. Far be it from me to anticipate such a humbling in any one but I do look forward to its fruit, a deeper love and understanding.

How low my arrogance has sunk me is of privet concern but it is worth noting that when I have embraced humility the pressure to be perfect is lifted making perfection so much closer and bearable.  I am, after all, only myself.

Hi,

I’m lying on the floor. I need to get away from the computer screen. There isn’t a couch in this room. I’m not complaining. Couches are marks of complacency. This is a dusty floor.

Here’s the thing, I’ve never decided to be anything. So I’m approaching my thirtieth birthday and I don’t think I have a career. This wouldn’t be a problem in another era but it is a problem now. We are asked to decide our fates by what business we choose. Decide? Well, that’s the idea preached at us thorough this culture. How much say do I have over nature?

I have a job. It doesn’t generate enough to live on. I’m living with my parents and I am thankful.

I have good friends.

Someday I will tell you about the job, family and friends I’m sure. But for today I just want to tell you that couches are a sign of complacency.

They invite you to rest when maybe you shouldn’t. They promote inertia. To have them means you will lie down more than without one. No, I’m not complaining about this floor or the chairs I choose. I remain restless. It’s better for art; isn’t this art?